WK10 - Slowin' Down

We're 10 weeks into the V. A long fucking time. Smelly, too.

"Disgusting!" yelled Tree Bone.

I feel like the last few weeks have been sort of a blur; a slowdown of sorts. Teams inside the V are holding steady, but nobody seems to be making fantasy fireworks. A select-GM may stand tall one night, only to fall victim to ebbs and flows the following evening.

"Fuckin' ebbs and flows," said Sitch.

Here are the charts, courtesy of the stats machine:

Nothing too fancy, right? What I find interesting is that Tree Bone and Dick Burns were this week's lowest fantasy point producers (92.80 points and 96.90 points, respectively), and Burgundy came in as this week's top fantasy point producer (124.05 points). It must feel good to come in as the week's top bread earner after getting chirped last week by Tree Bone, eh Burgs?

"Oh, jeah, absolutely," said Burgundy. "That damn Tree Bitch thinks she can speak to Sir Burgundy like that - absolutely insulting. She's a rookie in this League; doesn't even understand how this fucking V is a marathon. This ain't no BPC, as they say in the Orient."

"You fucking watch yourself on who you call Orient," said Sitch. "We prefer the term SWAG (something we Asians got)."

Bottom left: Sitch

Burgs and Sitch: please hold your tongues. I don't want this report turning into a racial war. Let's just look at the numbers and see what they tell us, alright?

TREE BONE

Tree Bone has returned to the top and held the position for two weeks. With Dick Burns still tight on her ass, she'll need to find additional support. She can thank her goaltending for keeping her atop the V; Price and the Canadiens have been unreal. Her rainbow looks healthy; no red with improving goalie colours. And, she's proven to be one of the more efficient select-GMs; she's currently second in terms of PPGP (3.39).

Adds McGuire: I agree. Tree Bone has been demonstrating phenomenal management; she's such a fine-young-woman. But with Malkin sidelined (again) it'll be hard for her to keep up her offensive statistics, and her earlier drop of Giroux might cost her a bit of depth at centre. She's definitely in good shape though and as long as she continues to play smart, she'll play smartly.

Play smart, play smartly. How insightful, Pierre.

DICK BURNS

While Dick has been kicked out of first place, he still sports a decent PPGP (3.33) and dummies the goalie category (what else is new?). However, with so many games played, the back end of the season may be a stressful one as he may see the other select-GMs playing catch up. His one trick pony (aka. Rask/Fleury combo) hasn't faulted him yet, but one must wonder if the magic can last.

Adds McGuire: Bang on, Fucking Randy. Every team has its issues, and Dick Burns is no different. Does he have an issue with his goaltending? Maybe; he's got the numbers so far, but an injury or a bad streak could cost him dearly. Does he have an issue with his defense? Maybe; he traded for great players (see Keith and Byfuglien) but they've produced very little in the last week. Does he have an issue with wingers? Maybe; his best producers are DTD and the rest are dormant. That's a lot of "maybe's", Commissioner Randy. And when you have a lot of "maybe's", you have a lot of doubt. A McGuire monster has no doubt!

Fuck McGuire... you sure like repeating your questions.

AFRICAN LION SAFARI

Safari was one of the more consistent select-GMs of the week; he did not suffer a significant change in his PPGP (a difference of -0.01 week-over-week), and he had his share of producers, including Seguin who had a three-goal performance the other night. But, he's flipped his roster more times than Britney's flipped on her back; what's up with that?

Werk it.

Adds McGuire: It's his nature. I've known Safari for a few years now; I knew him when he was managing in junior; I knew him when he was in the pipelines of Hockey Finland; I knew him as a scout for the World Juniors. No one studies the game harder than this buttercup. It's a testament to his dedication; it's a testament to his grit; it's a testament to his character. He's simply not happy with his roster and he's willing to commit to change. I know for a fact that he's looking for potential trade partners, but no one seems to want to dance with him just yet. His team's got some fine pieces; I think he just needs a little more glue to hold it together.

AZNSITCH

Sitch still holds ground on PPGP, but is it time to bite the bullet and start playing more games regularly? I mean seriously; a high PPGP will not win you the V. It will make you a threat, and it will make you feel good about your bench management ("JEAH! Bench management! I came up with that!" fist-pumped Pierre), but it won't win you the title belt.

Adds McGuire: Valid point, Commissioner Randy. But I don't think Sitch should hit the panic button just yet. Sure, his team had a sub-par week, but overall he's put in a decent campaign so far and his roster has a lot of weapons. Like Glenn said (before you fired his ass) a few weeks ago, Sitch theoretically has a dynamite goalie roster, and if they eventually come to mid-season form, I think he can make a serious challenge. In addition, Sitch plays the numbers game very well; he looks to pick up under-performers as opposed to chasing hot-streak players. If he waits long enough, I think he can make a serious push.

RON BURGUNDY

I applaud Sir Bugs this week has he was the only shining light this week. He was the only select-GM to improve his PPGP (+0.02), and looking at the overall charts you can see that his statistics are beginning to normalize. It appears that the start of his season was in fact an anomaly.

Adds McGuire: I love his roster on paper. He has elites in Crosbone and Kane, and his supporting cast has been doing their job in the last week. But, that Boston-Pittsburgh game was ugly, and Neal may be disciplined for his actions. It may slow down the Burg Surge which would be a shame.

"A shame, yes," said a courteous Dick Burns. "But that knee from Neal was dirty. One of the dirtiest I've ever seen. I hope Neal gets what he deserves; a hefty suspension."

Wise words, Dick.