[Q&A from press conference called by Tree Bone earlier this evening at 20:00 EDT]
Thank you, gentlemen and brothers, for attending this press conference I have called for this evening. As select-GM for Team TB, I'm honored and pleased to join as the fifth member of the Randy Leagues; I thank Randy for the invitation, and wish all fellow select-GMs luck in the upcoming season.
Dreger: Have you selected a Keeper, TB?
Sit down Dreger, you motherfucking jitter-bitch. I'll get to it.
Dreger: Please, we want to know your selection.
Bitch. Fine, I'll reveal it now. I am pleased to announce that, after careful and thorough considerations, I have decided to select Malkin, Evgeni of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
LeBrun: An excellent selection. I just have one question. Do you feel that (LeBrun's cellphone rings) - damn it, hold on one sec. (Picks up phone) Hello? Hey Burgs. Uh huh, yeah... no, sorry, now's not a good time... No, I'm not free for dinner. No, we've... we've been through this. I don't need your PleasureTown. No... No! Seriously, stop call ---
Seriously? Next question.
Dreger: Are you aware of this picture of Malkin?
I don't understand the point of your question.
Dreger: Are you worried he's preoccupied with other endeavors?
Are you fucking kidding me? I applaud this. Why wouldn't any smart select-GM pick a player who can score on the ice and on patio furniture? Seems like a no brainer to me. I guess that's why you'll never be a GM, Dreger.
Dreger: ... I hate you.
Bitch, please. This press conference is over. Next time I call one, please show some more professionalism, jackasses. I expect top-notch journalism, not bullshit TMZ-esque Q&A. Quit being immature. Quit being soft. Quit being JELLY.
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