WK17 - Sink or Swim

We're near the end of January. You know what that means, gentlemen and lady.

Adds LeBrun: Trade season baby!

Thank you, LeBrun. And you're right; soon select-GMs will be thinking about what to do with their respective teams. The League trade deadline is scheduled for March 6, 2014, so the month of February will be full of pondering and management analysis. Who will choose to rebuild for next year, and who will load up and make a run for the gold(en belt)? Who will choose to sink or swim?

Adds LeBrun: A great question, Commissioner Randy. Sink or swim? That'll be on every select-GM's mind come trade deadline. Obviously, right now you can easily see both sides of the spectrum here; Team Thunder (aka. Sitch) will be gunning for a repeat, and Team Bodacious (Burgs) is likely to think rebuild. But a lot can happen in a month, especially with the Olympics approaching. The teams at the top, and I include Sitch in this, may lose players to injuries and therefore become desperate to find reinforcements. The Olympics definitely make this year's trade deadline more significant.

I can hardly wait for the excitement to ensue. For the time being, here are this week's stats, courtesy of the stats machine:

Oh, and look at this: Sir Fucking Randy has added a little colour to the PPGP chart. The theme is sink or swim right? Well, the stats machine has calculated the weekly League average PPGP, and is represented by the blue shade, an ocean if you will, in the chart below. See where you are, select-GMs. Are you sinking below, or treading above water?

"It's time to call a spade a spade," sighed Burgundy. "At the beginning of the season, my team was just out of sync. The entire first quarter was a quarter to forget. I really thought there'd be a bounce, but the season's more than halfway complete, and my output is nowhere near League averages. I'm not pushing the rebuild button yet, but if trade offers start coming in, I would explore being a high-octane seller. Veronica won't be pleased, but she'll support me."

Always by his side.

 "Endearing," chimed in Dick Burns. "I love spousal support. Really gets me thinking about being there for someone special. Stability, like a rock. And there's nothing more important than a hard rock (to heave at a lynx)."

Wise words, Dick.

Gettin' IR'd

I got around to looking over last week's League report this morning. My tight-bod brunette assistant dropped them off as she was finishing some other tasks I gave her, which I will not get into here. Nevertheless, I was surprised to see one particular item: IR status.

"You can say that again," said Safari.

See, at the beginning of the V I was so caught up with Burgundy's unfortunate situation; his highly-ranked players were not performing the way they should have, and his other highly-ranked players were lying in beds at the hospital (see Neal).

"From carbo-overloading?" asked Sitch.

Fuck no, from game-related injuries, you fool. Anyway, as time progressed, the injury bug went from Burgundy to Sitch. Sitch suffered a huge blow with Stamkos, then hoarded up on injury-plagued goalies. Now it appears the bug has made its way again. This time, to Team Safari.

What I find most peculiar about his IR players is how unpredictable their injury statuses have been. Evander Kane, for example, has been electric on the ice at times, but has subsequently been sidelined on numerous occasions. He's repeatedly been a game-time decision for the Jets, which is of most annoyance considering that select-GMs need to assemble their lines in advance. To me, Kane has been one of those players you "hate to have" to a certain extent because you don't know what you want to do with them. Do you sit, drop or play?

Sit, drop or play?

"It's unbelievable," said Safari. "Some weeks it looks like he's going to be fine and then boom: he's out. With my other current IRs, Couture and Parise, I know for a fact that they will be out so I can adjust. That being said, nobody likes seeing 3 players on the IR. Especially of that caliber."

Agreed, my red lion. Considering that Kane, Couture and Parise average 3.80, 3.40 and 3.30 PPGP, respectively, it is unfortunate.

"Bah, you complain but you do not understand pain!" said a pompous Burgundy, scotch swirling in his left hand. "Don't you remember my Crosbone when he went down years ago? Do you think that was 'unfortunate'? No, I believe that was catastrophic! You don't know the IR like I know the IR!"

Well, let me tell you this then, Burgundy. I've just been told that Ovechkin is questionable for tonight's contest against the Ottawa Senators.

"... Yikes," said Burgundy. "Alright, alright. I digress."

Wise of you, dick.

WK16 - Muscle Tech

It's official; Randy's V has a new leader.

"Bitch-It's-Sitch, commin' in hawt!" thunder-thrusted Sitch in a post-media conference following Saturday's games. "Don't mess with my hustle; don't mess with my muscle! Jeah!"

From Sitch's bedroom collection.

For the first time in 15 weeks, the leader of the V is not one of Dick Burns or Tree Bone. Sitch's strategy of being patient with his roster appears to be finally paying off, thanks to high-flying performances from handsome Hank (Lundqvist) and Varlamov.

"Hm... so this is what it feels like to be a third wheel," said Dick Burns, currently ranked third. "I've been on such a romantic high as of late; I was getting used to feeling like the only one. Going to have see what I can do to turn things around."

"Dethroned from first again?!" said and angry Tree Bone. "This is unacceptable. I hate being dethroned!"

Here are the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

Adds McGuire: I love the rainbow. It tells us so much. Look at all that green; Sitch was being humiliated earlier with his lack of point production from his goaltenders. Now look at it; it's a green monster baby! With the exception of wins, Sitch's hoard of goalies has finally escaped the lows and now is performing at the level which was expected of them.

And what about the rest of the League, Pierre?

Adds McGuire: I still love Tree Bone's team as well. No reds in that rainbow, and still full of potential. St. Louis might be disappointed that he's not heading to Team Canada, but I think Team TB should be happy that the RW will get some much needed rest. I think the Olympic break will do some good for St. Louis' body; he'll be a star for Tampa Bay down the stretch.

An interesting way to look at it, Pierre.

Adds Pierre: Just my two cents, Commissioner Randy. In other news, Safari's got a whole lot of red lately, but he was actually this week's second biggest producer, potentially signalling a turnaround. He tallied 157.90 points (just edged out by Sitch's 161.60), thanks to brilliant performances by Phil Kessel and recently acquired Jonathan Quick (acquired from Sitch via trade).

On the move?

Any last remarks?

Adds McGuire: Jeah, I've got one more. What he heck happened to Crosbone and Citizen Kane? Burgundy's go to duo amassed just over 10 points this week, combined! On most weeks each could bring in at least 20 points alone. 

Burgs, in reaction to McGuire's insight.

Thank you, Pierre. Until next time, gentlemen and lady.

Cordially,

Commissioner Randy

Next Question with Tree Bone

The fifth and final installment of NQ features this year's new select-GM entrant, rookie Tree Bone (legal name: Timberly Cartilage). It was a tough task tracking down the Tree; I thought it would be relatively simple as trees tend to stay in the same place once planted. However, this freaking Tree Bone is a world traveler, so Mr. Fucking Randy had to fly over the Atlantic in order to sit down formally with said Tree. I caught up with Tree Bone in the magical land of Hogwarts.

Tree Bone, residing at Hogwarts.

Pleasant evening to you, Tree Bone.

To you too, kind sir!

Welcome to Randy's Next Question Series.

Why I thank thee for such an opportunity. Though I must admit, I am rather befuddled with the concept of this 'Next Question' you speak of, good sir.

It's not too hard, Tree Bone. I just ask you some questions and you answer to your heart's delight.

Delightful!

Yes, indeed. And of course, if you wish to pass on the question, you may simply respond "next question." That's all there is to it.

What a fun little experiment. I'd be delighted. It could not possibly sound more ravishing! Would you like some tea?

Alright then. So Tree Bone, you are new to the Randy Leagues. I usually start by asking each select-GM where their name originated. Care to share with readers?

Well, that's a rather interesting story. You see, I was with Burgs and Safari one night playing another enchanting game, though the name of it escapes me at the present. I was commissioned to guess a word, which turned out to be a particular skeletal plantation. Now, being an educated woman who has experience teaching our future's brightest minds, I thought the word was 'tree bone', as Safari had pointed at his elbow. But the word was actually 'stump'. (chuckles, spills some tea) What fun! You could say he stump'd me .(chuckles, spills teapot)

"I love puns!" cheered Dick Burns.

Calm yourself, Dick. So Tree Bone, that's where your name originated?

I guess so. I mean, you can't shake off something like that!

No kidding. Now let's move onto the V. You were invited to join this year as a new-entrant. How do you feel?

I was honoured, of course! I had just won a CBC-related fantasy league so I knew I was up for the challenge. I'm not afraid to show these other select-GMs that I can beat them at their own game.

You've been doing just that for quite some time. They have all expressed that they have been impressed with your team, especially since you don't make many roster moves. Have you impressed yourself?

You know what? I have! Up until today, I was atop the V rankings, and have been oscillating between first and second with Dick Burns. I'm hoping that Sitch's latest rise is simply premature. He's full of premature situations so I'm relatively confident that he will soon spray and soften-up.

... What?

He's coming back down. Believe me.

Sitch, on prom night.

Are you nervous about Sitch? What about the rest of the select-GMs?

Nervous? I wouldn't go that far. Sure, getting dethroned on a weekly basis isn't the best feeling, but hey, I've been at the top many times this year. Ten times, maybe? Ten top? I think I'm doing just fine. I have a slight edge in that I discuss all team matters with my father, who is the smartest hockey man I know, so he has given me some great advice along the way. Other select-GMs do not have access to this type of professional service, so I'm not nervous.

How is the relationship between select-GMs? Are you friends with all of them?

Oh of course. Safari and I go way back; I can't remember a time when I didn't know his roar. I even went to his wedding two years ago. He (Safari) is actually the one who introduced me to Burgs, who I've also become close with. I met Sitch through school; we were both into extra-curricular activities. And my love for the arts directed me to Dick Burns, who also loves film and theatre.

Do you put the friendship away during the V?

No, I'm a happy-go-lucky kind of girl. I never let business get in the way of pleasure. I love all these gents.

On that note - Wed, Bed, Fed or Dead: Sitch, Safari, Dick Burns and Burgundy. Go.

WED - I'd have to go with Safari. We go way back.

BED - I'll say Sitch, only because I know it'd be over really fast (see picture above) which means I'd be able to get on with my day.

FED - I'd feed Dick, TO A LYNX.

Which leaves Burgundy for dead?

Well, jeah!, since he's DEAD last.

Wow Tree Bone... looks like you got some thorns on those branches. You sure you love all these gents?

Next question.

Wise words, dick --- I mean, V.

WK15 - Mr. Wildcard

I'm not one to brag, but then again, it's hard to not say anything when you're right all the time. Remember when I deemed Sitch Wildcard of the Quarter? Well, it looks like that prophecy has finally shown up.

"Bullshit!" said Tree Bone. "Who just dethroned Dick Burns - once again, I might add - from top spot? It's all me, MEEEE bitches!"

True; Tree Bone is once again atop the V rankings. But something is definitely abrewin' beneath the roots.

"Hazzz!"

It appears as though AznSitch has finally made a serious move just as the season reached its halfway mark. He was once again this week's top earner, amassing 160.50 fantasy points, just ahead of Tree Bone who clocked in 153.65 fantasy points. The League average over the last seven days was 119.80, to give you readers a reference point.

"I keep sayin' it," said Sitch in between squats. "It ain't no BPC. You gotta think about what you're doing, how you're doing it, and why you're stickin' to it. The best players are the best players for a reason; believe in your plan and WERK. BITCH!"

Here are the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

As we can see, Sitch has power-squatted his way to second in the V rankings and has widened his PPGP lead over all other select-GMs. He sports a 3.63 PPGP, well ahead of the League average of 3.38 and 0.19 ahead of second place Dick Burns. Sitch has also played a League-low 556 games.

"... I'm at a loss for words," commented Safari. "I'm not even mad. It's admirable, especially since Stamkos is still out. Once he comes back it'll be even tougher to match Sitch's output."

Adds McGuire: Patience, patience patience. That's all they preach at Camp Sitch. He had an anomaly in Lundqvist; he stuck with him and now the Rangers have strung a couple of wins together. Varlamov was caught in a hoopla with the law; Sitch picks him up on a buy-low strategy. Giroux's start to the season was horrendous; Sitch picks him up and waits for the turnaround. Sound bench management, if you ask me!

Always so wise, Pierre.

And that's not all that happened this week. Yahoo! has also confirmed that a trade has been completed (pending League review, of course). And yes, it involves Sitch. According to insider Pierre LeBrun, Sitch has traded away Jonathan Quick to Safari in exchange for Tyler Seguin.

Adds LeBrun: Sources have indicated that the trade was relatively quick (pun!) and swift. It's been common knowledge for some time that Safari has been looking for better goaltending. With Sitch's team holding five goalies hostage (six if you include Rinne who is on IR), Safari approached Sitch for a trade. The discussion was quite friendly; I believe there was only one revision to the initial offer. Draft picks were discussed but ultimately a player-for-goalie swap was done.

Adds McGuire: I love it. Sitch frees up room on his goalie roster and gets Seguin (C, RW) in return, who has been having a fantastic year in Dallas. Sitch is also behind on C, RW games so Seguin can fulfill that void. Safari adds an Olympic-bound goalie to his roster, and LA is strong enough to support Quick to get wins.

Thank you, LeBrun and McGuire. Always appreciate your colour commentary. Until next time, folks.

Cordially,

Commissioner Randy

BREAKING: Dick Burns receives BALLER STATUS

"Add it to rest of them," said Dick Burns.

[Transcript from media Q&A session earlier this afternoon at Camp DB]

Select-GM Dick Burns presiding:

Thank you for attending today's Q&A. Not sure exactly why this was called, but my intel advised that there would be several attendees today, and they are right. I'll address a few questions before heading back to my offices. The floor is open.

Mr. Burns, can you comment on your upgrade to Baller Status?

What is there to say? This award is given out to those who have done courageous, thrilling and successful actions. I am one of them, therefore I received the award. Enough said.

What did you do, exactly?

Next question.

Sources indicate that you took an enormous leap of faith and were successful. Can you confirm that this is true?

... Yes.

Did you serve up meat?

... That can mean a lot of things, but yes.

Personal, or Korean style?

Next question.

Artist's conception.

Artist's conception.

Do you have any appreciation for by-laws? You were spotted leaving restaurants, bars and hotels much past closing/checkout times. Why do you think you are immune from these rules?

I can't help it if I think by-laws can be voided when important matters are at hand. Listen, I am a law-abiding citizen; I care for my country and for my fellow countrymen. But when there is much at stake, like love, war etc. one must do everything he can to achieve his goals. Fuck by-laws.

What is your opinion on The Rex Hotel?

It's a good place. Has "a life of its own."

The Sex --- I mean, Rex.

Would you go there again?

Who's asking?

Are you proud of receiving Baller Status?

What kind of question is that? Of course I am. It doesn't happen everyday. Well, maybe for some people (like myself) it happens everyday, but that doesn't mean I take it for granted. I am proud. Very proud.

Can you give us some more details as to what your achievement was? Please?!

A gentleman does not kiss and tell. You can speculate all you want. One more question and then I'm out.

What's your favourite thing in the world?

Long goodbyes. Goodnight.

WK14 - Crunch Time!

We're halfway through sticking it out in the V. Enjoy the festiVities while it lasts; before you know it, June will show its colours and the V will be said and done with. You select-GMs will have nothing to look forward to other than watching the occasional baseball inning.

The New Year always brings promise. Whether those promises will be fulfilled in the coming year depends on various things, some of which are controllable, most of which are not. The last week has been promising for a few select-GMs, but one in particular had a monstrous seven days.

"Oh yeah, crunch time baby!" shouts Sitch in excitement.

Clothing provided by Stitches by Sitch.

Sitch banked 157.20 points this week, tops in the V and well ahead of the League average of 130.05. Conversely, Tree Bone brought home the lowest weekly gain of 106.95; she's now been below League averages for three consecutive weeks.

"Just wait for it," said Tree Bone. "Soon, I'll be back in black."

Adds McGuire: Was that a pun?!

I think it was, Pierre. Anyways, what else can the numbers tell us? I feel like I'm drawing blanks here because I just posted the second edition of GMs Quarterly last night.

"Well, I ran some analytics myself over the last week," chimed in Burgundy. "It's just something I like to do, you know, since I'm an MPA who wishes to contribute to the betterment of society. It appears as though the League in general is producing at a higher capacity. So, Sitch's rise is partially inflated as it is the entire League that has been better, not just him."

"Why you gotta cheapen my flex?!" scorched Sitch. "Burgs, let's be clear; when I bring home the belt for a second consecutive season, you'll be the first I ThunderWhip."

Alright, calm down you two; no need to spaz. Now, I looked at the numbers and Burgundy has a point. League average PPGP from December 8th to January 5th came in at 3.31, 3.34, 3.36, 3.38, 3.39, respectively. Burgundy's argument does back up the numbers.

"Jeah, well, it's increasing because my team is helping it increase!" argued Sitch.

Adds McGuire: It's a combination of things, just like any League circumstance or situation. It's about players getting into the groove of the season. It's about team management being smarter with their decisions. It's about managers making better moves. It's about sleepers waking up and overachievers returning to norms. It's about the best goalies finally being the best goalies. It's about ---

Thanks Pierre, that'll be enough for today.

"I'd like to commend Burgundy for sticking to his guns and being rewarded for it," said Dick Burns. "If you would have told me Burg's would have a 3.21 PPGP by the beginning of 2014 I would have been skeptical. He's turned it around faster than I turn bitties on their backs."

"Tuesdays," said Dick Burns.

Wise words, Dick.

GMs Quarterly II

Welcome to the second edition of GMs Quarterly. This edition looks at the period spanning from November 24, 2013  to January 4, 2014. It is here we will look at who's been #HAMMing it. Sound good?

"Oh yes, that sounds sublime," says Jon Hamm.

Let's dish out the awards.

GM OF THE QUARTER - AZNSITCH

(Honourable mention: Burgundy)

This was a hard award to dish out, especially when I looked closely at the numbers. Sitch edged out Burgundy, albeit by only a gram of protein. Over the second quarter, Sitch amassed the most points out of any select-GM with 817.70, edging out Burgundy who had 806.70. However, their PPGP over that span was almost identical; Sitch clocked in at 3.63 and Burgundy finished with a 3.62. 

"Tight! Tight Tight Tight!" said Sitch.

"Tight!"

You want to see how close it was? Here's the rainbow:

I want to bring your attention to something. See Burgundy's change in PPGP up there? That green cell with a 0.29? Adding an average of 0.29 per game played in one quarter of the season is unreal. Can you say ebbs and flows?

"Jeah! I can!" said Burgundy.

Well done to you both, Sitch and Burgs. The two lowest-ranked select-GMs in Quarter 1 appear to be getting on track.

HUSTLER OF THE QUARTER: BURGUNDY via Kane, Crosby, Bishop

(Honourable mention: Sitch via Sharp, Kunitz)

You need only look at the last 30 days to see why Burgundy gets the Hustler award.

"Hustler is my favourite subscription," said Burgundy.

From the Burgundy Collections.

Well, by Hustler I meant individual play as opposed to an endowed magazine. Burgundy's Crosbone, Citizen Kane and Arch-Bishop were admirable this quarter; just look at their play in the last 30 days. Crosby, 82.00 points. Kane, 78.55 points. Bishop, 78.75 points. It's unreal when you think about it. And, who would have thought Bishop would be a front-runner for the Vezina? Great picks by Burgundy, if you ask me.

Sitch gets honourable mention for having individual stars in Sharp (84.55 points in 30 days) and Kunitz (75.40 points in 30 days); they've also been monsters over the last quarter.

'G' OF THE QUARTER: DICK BURNS

(Honourable mention: Tree Bone)

Dick Burns gets 'G' of the Quarter because he (1) was one of the first select-GMs to top the 1,000 point mark, and (2) is bringing it (!) to the max, both on and off the ice. Still aided by strong goalies, he's a force to be reckoned with; his PPGP is a respectable 3.47 (second best behind Sitch's 3.59) and he still leads all goaltending categories. In addition to his fantasy domination, he's putting on his game face off the ice; he's showing coyotes/lynxes who's boss on a mid-nightly basis, lifting/throwing boulders like it's nothing and wheeling dream girls easier than putting on a scarf. He's a G, fo' shizzle.

"Another one bites the dust," says Dick Burns.

RED LION OF THE QUARTER: SAFARI

(Honourable mention: Tree Bone)

What the hell is a Red Lion? Well, I had a few different names for this award, but I used Red Lion as it was fitting with select-GM African Lion Safari. He's not bleeding, but the numbers over the last quarter are below League averages. It has nothing to do with offense; it's all in the goaltending.

Safari, deep in thought.

"I know, I know," commented Safari. "It's been the same story since the beginning of the season. What is going on with my goalies?"

His tending has switched swiftly and quickly throughout this campaign, and though he does bank wins with Anaheim's Jonas Hiller, his tending stats are hitting rainbow reds in every other category. He's currently ranked last in GAA (2.45), save % (0.912) and goalie PPGP (3.85).

Aside from his goalies, his overall stats over the quarter came in low compared to his counterparts as well. Though he did bring home 781.40 points over the quarter, his PPGP over that span was 3.35 (compared to the League average of 3.51) and he played the most games out of all select-GMs.

With all that said, each select-GM has given their two cents on what to expect in the second half. Here are the latest predictions from each:

"The spread is thin. First to fifth is within a hundred points on most nights. Prepare for battle."  - Safari

"Believe in your drafting and let your team do the rest." - Tree Bone

"This ain't no BPC!" - Sitch

"Go fuck yourself San Diego." - Burgundy

"I expect to be very, very, very satisfied in the coming months." - Dick Burns

I like the last one, mostly because it could be applied on and off the ice. Wise words, Dick.

New Promises from Old Friends

I am sad to see the holidays come to a close. But I guess that is better than the alternative. Nobody ever wants to be the guy (or girl) to say "God I can't wait to get back to work."

I always look forward to January. January, to me, is like the new girl I'm about to sack. January is new, it's foreign and it's full of energy. You can afford to take chances, make changes and even perhaps indulge in a little experimenting without being too cautious. Just like a new lay, you don't have to worry about the consequences of your actions; who says you need to call January back for a second date?

... Jeah, I'd probably call her back.

This is precisely why the month of January always interests Sir Fucking Randy. I love to see the types of shit people come up with to better themselves. Now, I'm not trying to be a bear-shitter here; I applaud evolution and continuous improvement. I'm not here to judge peoples resolutions; I'm purely saying that I love discovering the weaknesses people believe they have. For example, my gym (not a GoodLyfe) is always a little busier around January because of all the new entrants who wish to better themselves physically. This crowd usually dies off by February, probably due to giving up or preferring some chips on a couch rather than making their ways to a cold gym.

So, my dear old friends, what is your New Year's Resolution? Sir Fucking Randy found out the answers. Here they are:

DICK BURNS - "Despite the joy of docking East Coast honeys, my New Year's Resolution is to attempt the impossible: find my true love," said Dick Burns. "I know this is incredibly vague, but this goal is one which is challenging yet possible I believe, especially in 2014. I may not accomplish it fully, but laying out the groundwork is definitely an option."

Artist's conception.

TREE BONE - "I would like to plan ahead," said Tree Bone. "I'm someone who loves to live in the moment; free mind, free spirit, free drinks. I'm not saying I want to give all that stuff up, but I think as I get older I need to start thinking a bit more proactively. It's sort of a prevention vs. reaction strategy. I'm not totally sure if this will work, but that's my goal. Plan ahead."

Legit.

AZNSITCH - "People are going to laugh at me for this," said Aznsitch, "but I want to improve my intelligence. I've done a lot with my physical self, and I think it's time to move towards my brain. I love brain. I should feed it more often with books and information. That's not to say that I am going to give up on my body; no fucking way. I'll just have to start reading while pumping. I'll call it Reamping.

Muscle and brain can co-exist.

SAFARI - "Never been a huge fan of resolutions," commented Safari, "but I think I have one this year. I want to be a better provider. I've done plenty for myself during my life so far, and I believe it's time I take a more detailed look at being a provider for others. As a married man, I'd do anything for my significant other, and I will strive to do my best for her going forward."

"Everything I do is for the family."

BURGUNDY - "My resolution is to be Leo," said Burgundy. "Just look at the way he fucking dresses; he's such a G. I now sport an MPA, which means that my gentlemanly status has been put up a few thousand notches. My class and stature needs to properly reflect that. From my speech to my wardrobe, my posture to my grace, I need to up it all. Ladies and gentlemen, 2014 will bring a newer, Leo-like Burgundy."

"Jeah!"

Wise words, from all of you.

WK13 - Changes

Happy New Year lady and gentlemen. May the New Year bring you joy, prosperity and fantasy greatness.

I apologize for the lateness of this stats report; luckily one of my blonde-babe assistants was able to take a snapshot of the V statistics as of December 29th. Commissioner Randy is still on holiday, so this week's stats report will consist mostly of visuals.

The stats this week are interesting, mostly because for the first time in weeks the V rankings show changes.

"That's just the way it is..."

Once again, Tree Bone and Dick Burns are trading spots on top ("Sexy!" cheers Dick Burns) and Safari and Sitch have swapped positions for 3rd and 4th. Burgundy still occupies 5th spot ("Fuck!" groaned Burgundy).

Here are the visuals, as of December 29th:

At Safari's request, I've compiled the change in fantasy points for all select-GMs:

Click to enlarge.

If there's one thing that's been evident so far about the V, it is that goalies matter. Take a look at Dick Burns' statistics; his players are abysmal. He ranks last in goals per GP and shot % and is second last in player PPGP. But because his goalies continue to deliver, he sits atop the rankings. Plus, his total PPGP is an erect 3.48, second only to AznSitch. Simply astounding.

We're about to clear the season's halfway mark, so you can expect to see another GM's Quarterly soon. In addition, I'll be wrapping up the NQs once I sit down with Tree Bone. There is a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. Stay tuned, select-GMs!

Cordially,

Commissioner Randy