WK7 - Colours of the Rainbow

Seemed kind of like a boring week, no?

Point accumulations were 'average' for most select-GMs, but one seemed to be struggling more than others. I'm talking about the lack of muscle on a particular team. Know what I'm referring to?

"... Damn!" said Sitch, spoonful of rice in hand.

Just look at these injuries:

Matt Duchene (C, LW) - DTD, estimated one week

Marian Hossa (RW) - DTD, no timetable

Mike Green (D) - IR, no timetable

Steven Stamkos (C) - IR, 3-4 months

Pekka Rinne (G) - IR, 2 months

Not surprisingly, Sitch was only able to accumulate 80.25 fantasy points this week, well below the League average of 117.25 fantasy points.

But given the lack of drama this week, the Fucking Randy was able to muscle-up (that's right, I said muscle up; trying to give Sitch a boost here) his stats machine and produce this colourful rainbow for statistical reporting purposes. See the glory below, and take note of where you (and your competitors) stand. This may assist you in determining where you're an awesome-blossom, as well as where you're a piece-of-shit.

Green = Awesome-Blossom | Red = Piece-of-Shit

If you're got green, you're a machine. If you've got red, start thinking ahead. What do the colours tell us?

DICK BURNS - Mighty fine goaltending, substandard goal scoring. His shot percentage is a League-low of 8.20%, and given the number of games he's played, it appears that his forwards aren't giving him enough support. Again, I love to hammer this point across: he's carrying TWO GOALIES and trumping the category! How do you feel about that, Safari, Sitch and Burgs?!

"Fuck that Dick!" yelled the three, in unison.

"How ironic; that's what sorority chicks yell when they see me," responded Dick.

TREE BONE - Yes, she was dethroned last week from top spot in the V, but look at her colours (and I'm not referring to black). She's only got one red (win %), but even that's not a League low. She may not be on top, but she's definitely running an excellent machine.

"I guess once you go black, you go green," said Tree Bone.

SAFARI - Another strong colour candidate, like Tree Bone. Safari, always perfectly tanned and ready for the hunt, is quite well-rounded. Though his GAA is a League low, he gets wins, and his forwards are keeping up with League averages.

SITCH - This guy seems to love the numbers game more than his workouts. There appears to be some sort of strategy around his games-played.

"No fucking way!" responded Sitch.

Anyways, he's way behind in games-played, but it appears he's doing it strategically somehow (though thus far his strategy has brought him close to the League basement). His team can score (a League best) but can't assist (a League low). Additionally, it appears that he can't even buy a win in net, even though he holds 5 goalies!

BURGUNDY - The injury bug ridiculed his team at the beginning of the season, and his goalies, like Sitch's, haven't done much for him either. With no green colours attached to his name, it appears that this machine needs some assistance in all areas.

"This stupid colour thing is making me dizzy," said Burgundy. "Can't we just call it a day and hit Pleasure Town?"

Aside, here are this week's visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

"Question: do the colours matter if you're sitting atop the rankings?" asked Dick.

Wise (ass) words, Dick.