Fill in the Blanks

With Next Questions on the horizon, the Fucking Randy decided it may be a good time to warm the V up with an elementary exercise known as 'Fill in the Blanks'. All select-GMs were asked a series of survey questions; the most popular responses are reported below. The answers are anonymous, though some select-GMs were not as discrete as others.

"...?..."

I GET EXCITED WHEN...

- My players are scheduled to play the Edmonton Oilers.

- My players are scheduled to play the Florida Panthers.

- Super Saturday comes around.

- The rainbow is published.

- I'm Ron... Burg...?

I LOVE IT WHEN...

- Tuukka Rask loses.

- Crosby gets drilled. ("Fuck you guys!" yelled Burgundy.)

- I find gold in recently dropped players.

- Sitch carbo loads.

- Someone uses the term 'Jelly'.

I HATE IT WHEN...

- Dick Burns wins (again, again, and again).

- My players don't register a point, but their team scored a shitload of goals.

- Crosby doesn't score.

- Tree Bone doesn't respond to me.

- I bench a player for good reason, and he decides to score 4 goals.

I AM ASHAMED WHEN...

- I go with logic when setting up my lineups instead of using my gut.

- I go with my gut when setting up my lineups instead of using logic.

- I choose to check my fantasy scores instead of having sex.

I AM EMBARRASSED WHEN...

- I scream "JEAH!" when checking my fantasy scores.

- I realize how much more time I spend on fantasy than working out.

- I realize nobody outside the V cares about this League.

- I excuse myself from a social gathering to fix my lineups.

Intriguing answers, lady and gentlemen. More to come soon.

Cordially,

- the Fucking Randy