WK1 - Erect

Welcome to Randy's Weekly Statistical Report!

I'm thrilled to pop the cherry on this season's first stats report, courtesy of Randy's Stats Machine (obviously). Here once again, we shall break down the stats for the week and see where select-GMs are kickin' it, and where others are gettin' kicked.

Here are the stats:

RANK BY POINTS

Dick Burns, 129.60

Safari, 116.85

Sitch, 105.55

Tree Bone, 100.05

Burgs, 72.70

RANK BY PPGP

Dick Burns, 3.81

Tree Bone, 3.71

Safari, 3.65

Sitch, 3.52

Burgs, 2.51

Charts will follow when there is more data.

So, what can we see from this week so far? Well...

Just like last year, Dick Burns is crushing it, HARD. We all remember what happened to Team DB last year; he ran away for the first bit before a steep drop to the bottom of the rankings. What does Dick have to say about that?

"Well," thought Dick, legs crossed gentlemanly-like. "I'd hate to have that happen again this year. I doubt it, but it is obviously in the back of my mind. Nonetheless, my team has been doing sublime; my goalie tandem has been especially good."

Indeed it has, Dick Burns. Dick's goalies (Fleury and Rask) are scoring in all categories, making some other select-GMs slightly uneasy, especially given the fact that he only carries two tenders, but who the fuck cares? It's all about the points in the end.

"You fellas just wait," chimed Burgundy. "Wait till my Crosbone is fully erect; once he's up, there's no turning soft."

Burgundy definitely has a point, though he will need more from his players going forward if he is to keep up with the rest of the select-GMs. Remember, Burgundy had won the Combine earlier last month, so I do believe his team has the capability to take it this year. However, competition is definitely fierce, as four of the five select-GMs have averaged more than 3.0PPGP since the season started.

"It's a shame I couldn't hold top spot for the entire week," said AznSitch, who sat atop the rankings for the entire week until the weekend. "But, I know this is just the beginning. It's only my warm-up stretch as far as I'm concerned, and I plan on werrkin' hard this season."

"Work all you want," said Dick Burns. "I'm fully erect, and it's only week one. Get used to looking up, ladies and gents, because Dick Burns will not come down."

Wise words, Dick.