Back from the Orient, Bitchez!

Guess who's back?

Back again.

Randy's back.

Tell a friend.

That's right, bitches. Mr. Fucking Randy is back from the Orient. I was hoping to post many, many articles when I returned to Canadian soil last weekend, but I must admit that I was caught by the traveler's plague. Not to worry, Slim-Shady-Randy is always up to any challenge, and as such, Slim-Shady-Randy dominated that fucking plague the way Don Cherry dominates the pronunciation of Swedish names.

Firstly, I'd like to shake the hands of the Burgs for taking over reporting in my absence.

"Wait, Mr. Fucking Randy," said Sitch. "Burgs did not do a thing! All he did was outsource his responsibilities to the likes of two meat-heads in McGuire and Milbury!"

And, you hate meat-heads, Sitch?

"... well no, I fucking love them. But it was his responsibility to write the reports, not those two meat-heads!"

Be that as it may, Burgundy did admirably. He understood the reporting had to be done, and he delegated accordingly. I applaud his efforts.

"... (with tears in his eyes)... THANK YOU, RANDY!" said Burgs.

Alright let's not make this too emotional; it's not the Descendants. (I feel awkward using that reference as I have yet to see the movie, but Burgundy tells me it's incredibly emotional and sad.) I just wanted to inform all you select-GMs that I'm back - with force - and will begin reporting once again, as soon as I get my groove into gear. The Orient has put me 12 hours ahead (jet-lag to the max), but my engines will be adjusted in good time. Burgundy had requested that I report my adventures while in the Orient; I contemplated this, but then realized I simply did not have enough time to write about my experiences while anal-bombing the Asian continent. But fortunately, mother nature has given me the greatest mind and memory known to mankind, so I will be starting a Randy's Oriental Adventure (ROA) series, documenting my thoughts and travel experiences while in the Orient. Readers who are interested should take note.

"Jeah!" fist-pumped Burgundy.

"MAO!"

It's great to be back.

Cordially,

- the Fucking Randy