Mike Milbury: You know Pierre, I've never been much of a numbers guy except for the number 69, if you know what I mean...
Pierre: I DO!
RANK BY POINTS
- Dick Burns: 266.30 (+136.70 from week 1)
- Safari: 259.75 (+142.90 from week 1)
- Tree Bone: 239.05 (+139.00 from week 1)
- AznSitch: 235.80 (+130.25 from week 1)
- Burgs: 229.65 (+156.95 from week 1)
RANK BY PPGP
- Safari: 3.71
- Dick Burns: 3.55
- AznSitch: 3.519
- Tree Bone: 3.515
- Burgs: 3.06
RAPID TAKES:
1) The Dick Burns Cometh
Pierre: Well, as the rankings show, Burns holds on to the top spot for Week 2 with another strong showing.
Milbury: Now there's a Dick that doesn't need Viagra!
Pierre: *sigh* Indeed. And if you want to know why Dick's doing so well, look no further than his incredible goaltenders. With 7 wins and only 11 goals allowed in 8 games, Burns goalies are tough to beat.
2) Safari on the Prowl
Pierre: But, while Dick Burns is going strong, you would be crazy to sleep on Safari. He's got an impressive 3.71PPG, the majority of his players are firing on all cylinders, and with recent acquisitions of MONSTER point-generators Jonathan Bernier, Semyon Varlamov, and Brent Burns -- who Burgs dropped, what was he thinking??? -- Safari may be ready to go all the way and take the number 1 spot.
Milbury: And don't forget about his pick-up of Tomas Hertl. Listen Pierre, this kid is incredible, and even though he's only played a few games, if I was still a GM, I would trade 3 first-round picks, a franchise defender, and my first born child just to acquire him for a 1-year contract.
Pierre: Well Mike, while I do think Hertl has led San Jose to a strong start, all I got to say is 'Beware the Ideas of Sharks': Just remember, last year at this time San Jose was off to a scorching start and Patrick Marleau was looking like the next Rocket Richard. Will Hertle be able to buck the trend and stay hot? Only time will tell!
3) Tree Bone Calling
Pierre: Tree Bone's team has been performing solidly so far with strong production from Daniel Sedin and Martin St. Louis, and, with Malkin's production starting to pick up, she could be in contention for the top spot in no time.
Milbury: Yeah, but she needs to get more from Giroux. I mean, if it was up to me to motivate him, I'd probably beat him with a shoe for a bit, but maybe having a new coach behind the bench will do the trick.
Pierre: Good point Mike. I texted Tree Bone to see how she felt about her team but all she said was "Oy! I 'ave all the otha GMs right where I want dem. I'm awlready leadin' tha league in 'elpers, and before you know it, I'll be 'oldin the Premiere League trophy in no time!" Mike, do you have any idea what she's saying?
Milbury: Sorry Pierre, I don't speak Mandarin.
4) Trouble for Sitch and Burgs?
Milbury: Now Pierre, I know Sitch only slightly dipped in the rankings, but, is it time for him to drop his entire team and lure Yashin away from the KHL with a blockbuster contract?
Pierre: Hmmm, I don't think so. If you look closely, Sitch still has a strong PPG, and it's important to remember that Sitch had a methodically slow start last year, only to gain steam and win it all in the end. When I asked Sitch about how he goes about carefully planning when he plays and benches his players, Sitch responded 'HAZZZZZZ.'
Milbury: Wow, he truly is one of the great hockey minds of our time. But what about Burgs?
Pierre: He had a big Saturday night, and by picking up Skinner and Van Riemsdyk, he may get some added point production. With that said, he needs some serious help in net. He's let in a huge amount of goals and there is no way he can move up the ranks without some more stops.
NEXT WEEK:
Pierre: Well Mike, this next week is sure looking promising will Safari take the top spot from Burns? Will Tree Bone and Sitch creep up the ranks? Will Burgundy' Crossbone stay hard? What will come of all this? When I asked Dick Burn for his take, he replied 'When I come, you'll know."
Milbury: Wise words, Dick.
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