A Rare AGM

I apologize, dear readers. My reporting on the 1st Annual General Meeting is slightly late, as the AGM was held a few days ago and I am only reporting on it now. But what can I say? Hot-fuzzed-sex always comes before reporting. There ain't no shame in that.

"Hot Fuzz is a sick movie," says Burgundy.

Noted, Burgs. I will keep this in mind for my next Netflix viewing.

Anyways, to the topic at hand...

The 1st Annual AGM was held this past Sunday, September 1, 2013 at Rare Restaurant & Bar. I literally had to elbow douche bag Darren Dreger out of my way; that son of a bitch loves his fieldwork more than Safari likes his medium roar steaks. But thankfully, I made it in time to attend, and yes, I looked smashing.

Burgs looked classy and clueless (?), Dick looked long and hard, Safari appeared irritated by his hot-crotch-fuzz and Sitch had the Schwarzenegger-tan going on. Tree Bone was notably absent as she had to attend to bigger, blacker business. All select-GMs in attendance appeared happy to see each other, for they had not seen one another in quite some time. That being said, the bunch is never far away from lighting up a few fireworks.

Sitch, winner of Randy's Redemption 2013, obviously carried himself with pride, pissing off Safari as 'pride' technically belongs to a lion's vocabulary. The historic rivalry between Burgs and Sitch also showed off its colours, with Burgs at one point requesting more ketchup in an effort to destroy Sitch's Ed Hardy shirt. Sitch, in response, threatened to order mustard and spoil Burgs' Eddie Bauer undershirt. Dick Burns, on the other hand, appeared quite content and calm, until his order of scallops was rejected; suffice to say, Dick Burns had to man up to man-meat.

Fuck scallops.

"Speaking of which, who would have thought Dick was such a pro on steaks?" commented Safari. "He literally requested the most technical steak I've ever heard."

As the night progressed, several topics were discussed. I won't get into the details here as they are confidential and not made available to the public. However, all select-GMs were issued official AGM packages, so if there is need to review the topics, select-GMs have the necessary materials.

All in all, Randy's V is live and well. Select-GMs are scheduled to make their keeper picks within the day, which should bring some added suspense towards the draft. Sitch has already stated that he will be keeping Stamkos, while Burgs laughed at him and announced his keeping of Crosbone.

"Don't cheat, Stammy. Don't cheat!"

"Don't drink too much Scotch there, Crosby!"

"Comatose Stamkos!" cheered Burgs.

"Sorry, who won last year?" chirped Sitch.

Settle down boys; there will be more time for this later.

"The past means shit, Sitch. Look ahead for who's set up to win this year, aka. look at me."

Bold, wise words, Dick.