Next Question with Tree Bone

The fifth and final installment of NQ features this year's new select-GM entrant, rookie Tree Bone (legal name: Timberly Cartilage). It was a tough task tracking down the Tree; I thought it would be relatively simple as trees tend to stay in the same place once planted. However, this freaking Tree Bone is a world traveler, so Mr. Fucking Randy had to fly over the Atlantic in order to sit down formally with said Tree. I caught up with Tree Bone in the magical land of Hogwarts.

Tree Bone, residing at Hogwarts.

Pleasant evening to you, Tree Bone.

To you too, kind sir!

Welcome to Randy's Next Question Series.

Why I thank thee for such an opportunity. Though I must admit, I am rather befuddled with the concept of this 'Next Question' you speak of, good sir.

It's not too hard, Tree Bone. I just ask you some questions and you answer to your heart's delight.

Delightful!

Yes, indeed. And of course, if you wish to pass on the question, you may simply respond "next question." That's all there is to it.

What a fun little experiment. I'd be delighted. It could not possibly sound more ravishing! Would you like some tea?

Alright then. So Tree Bone, you are new to the Randy Leagues. I usually start by asking each select-GM where their name originated. Care to share with readers?

Well, that's a rather interesting story. You see, I was with Burgs and Safari one night playing another enchanting game, though the name of it escapes me at the present. I was commissioned to guess a word, which turned out to be a particular skeletal plantation. Now, being an educated woman who has experience teaching our future's brightest minds, I thought the word was 'tree bone', as Safari had pointed at his elbow. But the word was actually 'stump'. (chuckles, spills some tea) What fun! You could say he stump'd me .(chuckles, spills teapot)

"I love puns!" cheered Dick Burns.

Calm yourself, Dick. So Tree Bone, that's where your name originated?

I guess so. I mean, you can't shake off something like that!

No kidding. Now let's move onto the V. You were invited to join this year as a new-entrant. How do you feel?

I was honoured, of course! I had just won a CBC-related fantasy league so I knew I was up for the challenge. I'm not afraid to show these other select-GMs that I can beat them at their own game.

You've been doing just that for quite some time. They have all expressed that they have been impressed with your team, especially since you don't make many roster moves. Have you impressed yourself?

You know what? I have! Up until today, I was atop the V rankings, and have been oscillating between first and second with Dick Burns. I'm hoping that Sitch's latest rise is simply premature. He's full of premature situations so I'm relatively confident that he will soon spray and soften-up.

... What?

He's coming back down. Believe me.

Sitch, on prom night.

Are you nervous about Sitch? What about the rest of the select-GMs?

Nervous? I wouldn't go that far. Sure, getting dethroned on a weekly basis isn't the best feeling, but hey, I've been at the top many times this year. Ten times, maybe? Ten top? I think I'm doing just fine. I have a slight edge in that I discuss all team matters with my father, who is the smartest hockey man I know, so he has given me some great advice along the way. Other select-GMs do not have access to this type of professional service, so I'm not nervous.

How is the relationship between select-GMs? Are you friends with all of them?

Oh of course. Safari and I go way back; I can't remember a time when I didn't know his roar. I even went to his wedding two years ago. He (Safari) is actually the one who introduced me to Burgs, who I've also become close with. I met Sitch through school; we were both into extra-curricular activities. And my love for the arts directed me to Dick Burns, who also loves film and theatre.

Do you put the friendship away during the V?

No, I'm a happy-go-lucky kind of girl. I never let business get in the way of pleasure. I love all these gents.

On that note - Wed, Bed, Fed or Dead: Sitch, Safari, Dick Burns and Burgundy. Go.

WED - I'd have to go with Safari. We go way back.

BED - I'll say Sitch, only because I know it'd be over really fast (see picture above) which means I'd be able to get on with my day.

FED - I'd feed Dick, TO A LYNX.

Which leaves Burgundy for dead?

Well, jeah!, since he's DEAD last.

Wow Tree Bone... looks like you got some thorns on those branches. You sure you love all these gents?

Next question.

Wise words, dick --- I mean, V.