Gettin' IR'd

I got around to looking over last week's League report this morning. My tight-bod brunette assistant dropped them off as she was finishing some other tasks I gave her, which I will not get into here. Nevertheless, I was surprised to see one particular item: IR status.

"You can say that again," said Safari.

See, at the beginning of the V I was so caught up with Burgundy's unfortunate situation; his highly-ranked players were not performing the way they should have, and his other highly-ranked players were lying in beds at the hospital (see Neal).

"From carbo-overloading?" asked Sitch.

Fuck no, from game-related injuries, you fool. Anyway, as time progressed, the injury bug went from Burgundy to Sitch. Sitch suffered a huge blow with Stamkos, then hoarded up on injury-plagued goalies. Now it appears the bug has made its way again. This time, to Team Safari.

What I find most peculiar about his IR players is how unpredictable their injury statuses have been. Evander Kane, for example, has been electric on the ice at times, but has subsequently been sidelined on numerous occasions. He's repeatedly been a game-time decision for the Jets, which is of most annoyance considering that select-GMs need to assemble their lines in advance. To me, Kane has been one of those players you "hate to have" to a certain extent because you don't know what you want to do with them. Do you sit, drop or play?

Sit, drop or play?

"It's unbelievable," said Safari. "Some weeks it looks like he's going to be fine and then boom: he's out. With my other current IRs, Couture and Parise, I know for a fact that they will be out so I can adjust. That being said, nobody likes seeing 3 players on the IR. Especially of that caliber."

Agreed, my red lion. Considering that Kane, Couture and Parise average 3.80, 3.40 and 3.30 PPGP, respectively, it is unfortunate.

"Bah, you complain but you do not understand pain!" said a pompous Burgundy, scotch swirling in his left hand. "Don't you remember my Crosbone when he went down years ago? Do you think that was 'unfortunate'? No, I believe that was catastrophic! You don't know the IR like I know the IR!"

Well, let me tell you this then, Burgundy. I've just been told that Ovechkin is questionable for tonight's contest against the Ottawa Senators.

"... Yikes," said Burgundy. "Alright, alright. I digress."

Wise of you, dick.