My goodness; a few days can change a lot in the V.
"That sounds smelly," said Burgundy.
Jeah, indeed. I wouldn't say that things have become 'smelly' in the V, but the word interesting comes to mind. Interesting, and suspenseful. Let's get down to the Deal Breaker and the Back Breaker that's surfaced in the last 48 hours.
DEAL MAKERS - Safari, Dick
Once again, fuckin' Dick Burns is on the trading floor executing transactions left, right and beneath women's belts, thrusting his players into the fire and coming up with some building blocks of his own. His longtime trading partner, African Lion Safari, is once again his dance partner, and they've both offered up a lot. Here's the deal:
Dick trades - Tuukka Rask, sixth round draft pick (2014)
Safari trades - Zach Parise, third round draft pick (2014)
What do we think about this? Pierre?
Adds Pierre: I think this works on so many levels, Commissioner Randy. You look at the desire for Safari to acquire better goaltending. You look at Dick adding depth in scoring. You look at Safari making a serious commitment to challenge for the title. You look at Dick solidifying his drafting for next year. You look at...
Fuck Pierre! Why you gotta repeat the first part of your sentence so many times? It's a fucking trademark of yours that I hate! Just tell me who you think fucking won the trade!
Adds Pierre: Okay, okay! I'm going to think short-term here: championships matter, therefore Safari got a bit closer to it on this trade. Winner = Safari.
BACK BREAKERS - Western goalies
Going into the Olympic break, Sitch could not have felt more confident; he had just strung five solid weeks of point domination in January, ejaculated with the thought of Stamkos returning and had a goalie group that consisted of Lundqvist, Luongo, Halak and Varlamov, all Olympic-bound tenders. But what the fuck happened?
Two of his all-star tenders, Luongo and Halak, got deported!
"Fuck!" screamed Sitch, throwing down 50lb dumbbells. "I can't believe this; how is it possible that both of these solid tenders go from strong western teams to butt-fucked eastern teams? Unbelievable!"
Adds Pierre: I think management at Team Sitch may be reconsidering the trade they made with Safari a few months ago involving trading away Quick for Seguin. Don't get me wrong; I don't think that trade was bad, but if you look back, Sitch had quite an insurance policy on his goaltending. In fact, for his goalies I'd say he had backups for his backups for his backups! Now look at the situation... it's tough. We know Luongo isn't going anywhere, but Halak could still be dealt before the deadline. Hopefully he goes somewhere competitive, like Minnesota.
It just goes to show you that there are no guarantees in the Randy Leagues. With Sitch feeling the heat and all other select-GMs making a run (and I include Burgundy in this) anything is possible.
Happy trading, gentlemen and lady.
Cordially,
Morpheus Randy
Adds Pierre: Okay, okay! I'm going to think short-term here: championships matter, therefore Safari got a bit closer to it on this trade. Winner = Safari.
BACK BREAKERS - Western goalies
Going into the Olympic break, Sitch could not have felt more confident; he had just strung five solid weeks of point domination in January, ejaculated with the thought of Stamkos returning and had a goalie group that consisted of Lundqvist, Luongo, Halak and Varlamov, all Olympic-bound tenders. But what the fuck happened?
 |
| "Sorry Sitch; my wife likes sunny skies. |
 |
| "Sorry Sitch; did I give you the blues? |
Two of his all-star tenders, Luongo and Halak, got deported!
"Fuck!" screamed Sitch, throwing down 50lb dumbbells. "I can't believe this; how is it possible that both of these solid tenders go from strong western teams to butt-fucked eastern teams? Unbelievable!"
Adds Pierre: I think management at Team Sitch may be reconsidering the trade they made with Safari a few months ago involving trading away Quick for Seguin. Don't get me wrong; I don't think that trade was bad, but if you look back, Sitch had quite an insurance policy on his goaltending. In fact, for his goalies I'd say he had backups for his backups for his backups! Now look at the situation... it's tough. We know Luongo isn't going anywhere, but Halak could still be dealt before the deadline. Hopefully he goes somewhere competitive, like Minnesota.
It just goes to show you that there are no guarantees in the Randy Leagues. With Sitch feeling the heat and all other select-GMs making a run (and I include Burgundy in this) anything is possible.
Happy trading, gentlemen and lady.
Cordially,
Morpheus Randy
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